Friday, 19 August 2011

IKEWH!: Heartstrings Ep 5.

This episode upset me. It upset me so much that I had to take a break from watching dramas for a few weeks.

It upset me because NOTHING HAPPENED. Nothing.

Okay, technically a lot of things happened but by the end of the episode everything was pretty much back to the status-quo so my point stands.

Not this StatusQuo but it would of been awesome if they turned up.

I'm so angry that I'm just going to write it out in dot points. Dot points of Rage.

  • Ballerina finally rejects HorseFace.
  • Derp is a Buttmonkey.
  • HorseFace fails to see that Derp is falling in love with him.
  • LoveChild agrees to join the musical.
  • We see some flashbacks to when Mr Broadway first meets Ballerina.

That's it. Now that might seem like a lot of things going on if it were a western drama but this is KDrama. KDrama should take no prisoners.


The most interesting thing about the episode was how Mr Broadway convinces LoveChild to join the musical.

He abandons him in a theatre to make him watch videos of Mr Broadway's past, takes away his wheelchair and leaves him to get delirious from dehydration until he starts to hallucinate. The timeline was a little messed up in this episode but I think LoveChild was left sitting there for two or three days. 
And that's how adults should always make minors do their bidding.

Grandpa approves.

Episode 6 better not let me down.

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Korean Commercial of the Week.

Let's do a collection this time. One product, many commercials.


The first one isn't very funny. It's pretty much for the fans of whoever the hell this guy is.




There's at least some singing in this one but still mostly for fans.




I feel for the guy in this one. That kid is a con-artist in training.



Finally, the best banana milk commercial out there. It's so good that if I say the first line in class, my student's will finish it, even after all these years.




They also make strawberry milk but for some reason they don't do commercials for that. Weird.

Friday, 29 July 2011

IKEWH!: Heartstrings Ep 4.

At the beginning of the episode, Sexy McHorseFace stands on a balcony, watching students arrive at university. He spots Derp and calls her cellphone to demand coffee. She lies to him, saying that she is in class. He tells her to look up.


Busted.


Chastened, the butt-monkey goes to the coffeeshop and comes across Ballerina. They start chatting about boys and crap, and walk back to university together.
After giving HorseFace his coffee, he pays her but she doesn't have change. This may lead to punishment.

Tentacles?


SweetCheeks takes Mr Broadway to the latter's new office and they have a disscussion about LoveChild. 
SweetCheeks is pissed that Mr Broadway gave him the lead role and tells Mr Broadway to fire him. Mr Broadway refuses.

You will regret this decision.


At the muscial practice room, Angry Cow and friends are discussing how Lucy got accepted into the musical. They're also pissed at Derp for reasons unknown.
 After Mr Broadway arrives, he gives them all the scripts and tells them that it is going to be a love story. The lead female role is still under consideration so they must show a wide range of talent to be accepted for that role.
First up, they must show that they can sing like cats. Derp cannot.

Hey look! It's Big-Hat Guy!


That night, Derp and Moe go to the club to see another set by Stupid. They must be the house band or something. After the show, Moe leaves with Worms but HorseFace gets an emergency phonecall from Ballerina so he abandons Derp. It must be a really huge emergency because he's out of there like a bat out of hell.
Dumbass.



Oh, you locked yourself inside of your own classroom. I guess that could be an emergency... if you were bleeding. Which you are not.
Even the old security guard thinks you're an idiot.


Derp sees the two of them walking together and feels sad.




'Sup.

Later, HorseFace goes to the hospital to see his father. They talk for a bit.
At the same time, Derp is talking to her dad. He's sitting in his car outside of HorseFace's apartment and hangs up when he sees HorseFace's mother. It seems that they are friends from way back. They go to a coffee shop to talk about old times.

Hopefully it's not going to turn out that Derp's father is actually HorseFace's father too because that would be too weird. Even for Kdrama.






The next day, Derp picks up HorseFace's coffee before she goes to class. They do the hilarious 'no change' joke again.


Apparently HorseFace doesn't have any classes so he spies on Ballerina for a bit before going to meet the band.




While telling the band about his coffee-getting scheme, HorseFace is shocked when they insinuate that maybe he's just doing this so he can spend more time with Derp.
We're on to you.

Just before the Musical dance rehearsal starts, Angry Cow and her friends start picking on Derp. Eventually it devolves into a shoving match., which turns into a full on cat-fight when Lucy gets knocked down as well.

This. is. awesome.
Luckily, Ballerina and Mr Broadway arrive before someone loses an eye. Class is canceled.




Just as Ballerina is leaving, she runs into SweetCheeks. He asks her out for dinner on Thursday night and she accepts. Things are looking up for the man with the puffy cheeks. 








Meanwhile Mr Broadway is punishing the five girls. They must count to a million-bazillion with their hands in the air. This is a very common punishment in Korean schools and is much harder than it looks. 


After the punishment is over, Lucy sees HorseFace outside. She asks him to lunch but he's not interested. In a rage, she tells him that  she knows about his crush on Ballerina and that it's never going to happen.



In other news, this extra is cute.






Derp must of left the building from the other side because she runs into Mr Broadway. He tells her that the fight was not her fault and helps her comb her hair with his hands. He makes it worse.
Due to Murphy's Law, both Ballerina and HorseFace see this interaction, giving them both strange feelings in their tummies.

Later, HorseFace confronts Mr Broadway in a corridor about stringing girls along.













Okay, I have to stop here for a second. So far, Horseface has a fully-formed crush on Ballerina and a tiny one on Derp.
Derp is starting to have one on HorseFace but not on Mr Broadway.
Mr Broadway has a thing for Ballerina but he does seem to flirt with Derp a bit.
Ballerina has a thing for Mr Broadway but is pretty happy to string Horseface along too...
Let's just look at this chart.
That should clear everything up. 


That same night, Handsome Guy and Mr Broadway get called to the hospital. LoveChild has broke his leg! It seems very likely that SweetCheeks did it. After all, he did warn Mr Broadway to get rid of him.

"I swear it didn't happen at a strip club. Promise."
Derp is passing by a dance practice room and spots Lucy. Lucy is much better at both singing and dancing so Derp is worried that she can't compete for the Romantic Lead role in the musical. That night she decides to quit.

Before going to tell Mr Broadway, she stops off to give HorseFace his coffee. He isn't there but instead of just drinking the coffee, she leaves it on the ledge to get cold.

What a waste. 
Eventually HorseFace turns up and he carts his now-cold coffee off to the band's practice room.
Worms tries to steal the terrible coffee but Horseface has become rather attached to it; further proof that he's having strange feelings for Derp.

At that day's Dance practice, rumours abound when Derp doesn't show up. Ballerina is intruged and Mr Broadway goes to the library to try to make Horseface use his powers of Butt-monkey Mastery to make Derp rejoin the musical. They crash one of Derp's classes and through the power of product placement, try to talk Derp into coming back.

Bah, your blurred-out beverage cannot sway my decision!


Mr Broadway heads to the hospital. Maybe he'll have more luck convincing Love Child to go on. He gives LoveChild a copy of the script and a stern talking to.
On the way home, Mr Broadway stops into a jewelry store to buy a shiney necklace for Ballerina.

"Bring me the most gaudy thing you have."

Derp has been thinking about what HorseFace said to her today. Maybe she should rejoin the musical? She tries to talk to Grandpa Derp about it but he is already asleep.

The next day Derp goes to Mr Broadway's office to tell him that she is going to rejoin the musical. He proceeds to scare the crap out of her.
Sweet Baby Jeeebus!

Needless to say when she walks into class, Angry Cow and friends are very annoyed. Once class begins they even try shoving her around during practice.
Mr Broadway is not impressed by this so class is cancelled again.

ANGRY!
In an attempt to teach them a lesson, Mr Broadway takes the five girls to see a professional musical rehersal. He informs them that it it not enough to only be good at one thing. You must try hard to be good at everything.

You know, like that proverb. 'Jack of all trades, master of....something something.' I forget how it ends.
This somehow sparks a montage of everyone working hard to get better at the things that they suck at. Stupid plays a song over it.

After the montage is over, HorseFace rides his bike past the same jewelry store that Mr Broadway went to. Of course he will buy Ballerina a necklace too.

If this piece of shiny metal doesn't make her love me, nothing will.



It is now Thursday. If you recall, tonight is when SweetCheeks and Ballerina will have their date. That's not until later though.
First thing in the morning, Derp is in pain. Who would of thought that learning to do the splits in one night would hurt?
Luckily for her, HorseFace takes pity and lets her ride on the back of his bike to univeristy. Unluckily, close contact means that all the drugs he takes have seeped out of his pores and into Derp. That is the only explanation for the next scene.

Yep. Drugs.

Once she comes to, the entire female population is stunned by her hallucinations. It probably doesn't help that she's been rubbing her face on HorseFace's back.

Over at Dance practice, Derp has improved a lot, mostly due to one-on-one training with Ballerina.
Mr Broadway and Ballerina share a moment over this and Mr Broadway thinks about giving the necklace to her.
In the staff carpark that night, Mr Broadway asks Ballerina if she wants to go out for a drink, wanting to give the jewelry to her tonight.
Ballerina declines as she has a previous engagement. 

She's going to meet SweetCheeks in this nice restaurant.

As soon as Mr Broadway is gone, she calls SweetCheeks to cancel their date. She has a headache. And she must wash her hair. And her mother is sick. And her dog died.
Way to cancel a date at the last possible moment. Dick move, Ballerina.

You broke him!
On his way home, Mr Broadway sees Derp hobbling to the bus stop. He pulls over and gives her a lift home.
Coincidently, Ballerina sees HorseFace on her way home and pulls over to talk to him. Seizing the moment, HorseFace gives Ballerina the necklace that he bought her. He then goes in for a kiss.



You'll never guess who sees it happen.




Oh. You guessed.

Best Character: The old Security Guard.
Worst Character: Ballerina.
Biggest Dick Move: Ballerina canceling on SweetCheeks at the last possible moment.

Thursday, 28 July 2011

Who's that old guy?: 이병준

 Full disclosure: This guy is my favourite Korean actor. I may be a wee bit super biased.



Name: 이병준 (Lee Byong-Joon / Lee Byeong-Joon)
Birth year: 1964 ( 47 as of 2011)
Where you've probably seen him: Secret Garden, Dream High.


Let's face facts, a lot of Kdramas are filled with pretty young things who can't act very well. It's part of why I love Kdrama so much. It's bloody entertaining.
Lee Byeong-Joon is not one of those people. (That's not to say that he's not handsome. He's not doing too bad for an almost 50 year old.)
Just never have this hair ever again.
The there are two reasons why this guy is amazing.

1. The voice.
    His voice is really deep and is known as 'the voice from God'. Kind of like Morgan Freeman's voice. This man could blather about what he bought at the supermarket today and I would be completely enraptured.

The glory starts at about 20 seconds in.

2. He can make any character likeable.
    It might just be me but when this guy turns up in a drama, I am instantly on his side. I don't care if he's destroying some other person's life or taking over a company. Screw 'em. They suck anyway.


Lee Byeong-Joon is great at playing a bad guy in a way that's just a little over the top. It's not quite cartoony but has so much more zaniness than the rest of the cast.
Sure he can do good guys too but his baddies are where I love him most.

Keep being awesome.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

Thursday, 21 July 2011

IKEWH!: Heartstrings Ep 3.

The episode starts at the club where we hear more of Stupid's acoustic set. We also see more of HorseFace's drug-induced flashbacks.


Afterwards Derp tells Horseface about her failure to fool his professor. He casually implies that there may be punishment in her future.
Tentacles?
To finish his evening, HorseFace stalks Ballerina some more.



Seriously guys, no more posters for you.



The next day at university the student population is loosing their shit again.







Mr Broadway has convinced the university to create a new Musical. At a meeting discussing their new endevour, Mr Broadway spends 90% of the time saying mean things about Ballerina. It gets so bad that Sweetcheeks asks him to step outside. He proceeds to tell him that if he doesn't cut it out, he'll do to Mr Broadway what he did to the Captain.
There's a reason why he can't walk you know.


How the hell did you two get into university in the first place?


As punishment for trying to deceive him yesterday, HorseFace's professor made Derp and HorseFace write essays about why attending class is important.
Unfortunately both of them are gormless and both essays devolved into rants about the other person's faults.

Seeing as they are too stupid for written assignments, the professor sends them to clean out the costume store-room.
A costume store-room. In a Korean Drama. I would show you the montage but if you've seen one kdrama costume montage, you've seen them all.

Eventually Derp falls over, the lights go out, they blindly end up with their faces really close together and then the lights come back on. This is leading to a kissing scene right?


Nope.

HorseFace has to go to band practice now but the tyres on his bike are flat. The Butt-monkey better go get that fixed.

On the way to the bike shop, Derp runs into Lucy who is amazed that Derp doesn't seem to know who she is. Apparently Lucy is a Person of Importance.

She's at least as important as this restaurant chain.

Who's spreading these rumors anyway?



Mr Broadway has come to the club to try to convince HorseFace to audition but HorseFace has heard some strange rumors about Mr Broadway so he declines. Derp is thinking about auditioning though.




Girl Power or whatever!



After her secret nightly phone call to her father, Derp practices her instrument and decides to tell her band that they are going to audition.





Five days from Audition Day Mr Broadway talks to Sweetcheeks. He has an actor in mind for the male lead and wants Sweet cheeks opinion. Sweetcheeks is very much against asking this person to audition.

We cut to a rival university where Handsome Guy and Mr Broadway have come to see a student. It's the guy they want to have for the main role!
No way! It's Handsome Guy's half-brother who is also Sweetcheek's lovechild!
And possibly HorseFace's uncle.

Love Child doesn't want to audition and gets very angry when pressured to do so.
Me Broadway can't understand why anyone wouldn't want to be in a Musical so Handsome Guy has to explain that sometimes, other people have emotions and desires seperate from Mr Broadway's own.
Some people actually think you're a pervert too.


At first Mr Broadway is confused and saddened by this new information but then he remembers that his choice for the female lead is a lot like him. He feels better.

Speaking of overconfident show-offs, Lucy is dancing again. Worms has bought some new clothes and a scooter in an attempt to impress her. She agrees to let him take her home but they get caught in a downpour. By the time they get to Lucy's house she's soaking wet and is starting to become ill.
This is my angry face.

Sure enough, by the next day Lucy is so sick that her stage-mother must take her to the hospital. Could this be.... a miscarriage?!

Now that it's Audition Day, Mr Broadway sends Handsome Guy out to find Love Child and bring him back using any means necessary.
"Are we really going to a strip club?"
"Yeah, we really are."


Worms has decided to go cheer on Lucy at the audition, not knowing that she is in the hospital, internally bleeding while HorseFace's unborn baby ceases to be. Logically his presence sparks an all-singing, all-dancing montage.
This is the only good part.

After the montage Love Child and Handsome Guy arrive. With his razor-sharp mental abilities, Love Child deduces that he has been decieved.
"This isn't a strip club at all!"

Sweetcheeks demands that he leave and asks Derp and Co. to perform. Mr Broadway tell LoveChild to stay.
A first it looks like LoveChild is going to storm out but the music being played by Derp and associates gives him the urge to sing. He can't fight the music.
He can't fight the moonlight either but that's a story for another day.

The judges are impressed by LoveChild's singing chops.

"Okay, now I'll take you to a strip club for real."

So it looks like Derp's band and LoveChild are going to be in the Musical. As Lucy didn't show up, her archrival; Angry Cow, is the shoe-in for the female Lead.
I'm special now.


This totally pisses off Worms who demands that Lucy should be allowed to audition the next day. At first it looks like she's out of luck but then Worms organizes a surprise concert under a bridge so Lucy gets a chance to show off her singing too.




The next day the official results are posted, letting people know if they are in the main cast or if they are understudies. Angry Cow is less than amused to find out that she is second-string.





The band heads out to see who made it through. Worms is very happy to see Lucy but she berates him for wearing crappy clothes.
Someone else is starting to have feelings for Worms too.

When Ballerina and Mr Broadway arrive, Derp starts to notice HorseFace's feelings for the former and his hatred of the latter.
Is it because of the whole 'pervert' thing?



Best Onscreen Chemistry: LoveChild and Handsome Guy.
Worst Onscreen Chemistry: Horseface and everyone.
Most World Weary: The Professor.
I hate all of you.